Why do we take everything so personally?
There are, to be sure, a plethora of legitimate and valid responses to this question. But the most important thing to remember is that we all have a habit of putting ourselves at the centre of everything and experiencing every incident, discussion, scenario, etc. — through the lens of how it connects to us on an individual basis.
But this could have various negative consequences, such as feeling upset when other folks are disrespectful, feeling bad for ourselves whenever everything does not go as hoped, and questioning ourselves when we aren’t flawless. After all, we aren’t at the core of just about everything.
That is not how the world functions. It just appears like this to us sometimes. Someone walks into the room wheezing and disrespectfully greets us. We immediately ask ourselves, “What’s happening here?” “I do not expect to be treated in this manner!” “They should’ve just known better!” And we feel disturbed, outraged, and furious as a result.
However, the fact is that the other person’s actions have almost nothing to do with ourselves. They were offended by something outside the door, and now they’re reacting by screaming in front of us. We were simply at the wrong place at the right time. This truth does not excuse their actions, but it must be understood deliberately so that we do not spend too much brain power putting ourselves at the centre of the scenario and taking things personally.
It Isn’t About You And Will Never Be
One of the most amazing aspects of humans is that if one puts ten people in the same position at the exact moment and asks them to explain what happened, one will receive ten different accounts.
What people feel is influenced more by routines and mental programming than by something you have or have not done. Always bear it in mind the next time you catch someone criticizing you. Don’t believe they’re accusing you or targeting you right away. What people say reveals more about who they are than what you are doing.
People Aren’t Thinking Of You
While you are concerned with what others think of you, they are preoccupied with what others think of them! Okay, This may not be true for everyone. Some can be focused on feeling pretty, masking their imperfections and vulnerabilities. In contrast, others are preoccupied with creating solutions to the issues, and yet others are consumed with working to advance their aims and promote their agenda. The simple truth is that you are not the centre of everyone’s universe, and most of the time, people aren’t even aware of you. So, take some deep breaths and allow yourself to loosen up.
Appreciate the “Spotlight Effect”
Often, we are not when we believe we are being criticized or evaluated by someone else. We’re all painfully aware of our defects, insecurities, and fears since we’re all in our thoughts. Many people, on the other hand, aren’t.
As a result, you may believe you heard some judgment from a colleague when, in fact, they weren’t even speaking of you at all. Consider this scenario: there have undoubtedly been moments in the past when you took things personally when it wasn’t even about you. Remember this whole point the next time you are compelled to take anything personally.
Improve Your Self-Esteem
Confidence functions as a barrier between you and other people’s words and behaviours. The thicker the buffer, the more sure you are. Consider the following: If you lack confidence, you’re likely to be offended by any bad statement made about you since a part of you is worried that what they’re saying is real.
If you have a high level of confidence and someone says anything bad about you, you know it’s not true; that it’s a little problem that won’t hold you back in any way; or that it’s something you can solve. As a result, it’s much easier for you to dismiss it.
Conclusion
When you take things too personally, it has a negative impact on your joy and satisfaction of mind. You can live your best possible life by not taking stuff personally. Start today by implementing the best tactics listed above. Constantly remind yourself that you aren’t the only one going through this and that change takes time, even if it is painful. These shifts are so simple to remember, but you’ll need a bit more practice to hang them.