We all have a habit of putting others before us: admit it, you may not have realised it but you may still do this. We feel, subconsciously, that it’s important to please the other person first, and then, ourselves. We don’t consider ourselves to be that important.
Even if you are going through a breakup with your best friend whom you dated for a while, you feel that you will lose them if you don’t continue talking to them.
The truth is that you need to stand up for yourself so that you can be at peace. You won’t be able to move on otherwise.
Let’s take another example. You let someone else take credit for your idea in a group project because you feel it’s not important to do so, but the ugly truth is that you are disrespecting yourself in this manner.
From the time I was a child, I always had a habit of putting others before me, or else I felt like it would not satisfy the other person. I thought to myself, “Why should I satisfy the other individual all the time, while I end up feeling like a nobody?”
Treating yourself as an equal to the other individual is a step towards putting yourself first. It’s important to evaluate situations where you feel at a loss and like you deserve better.
What Happens If You Don’t Put Yourself First?
It leads to feelings of resentment, burnout, mental exhaustion. It can also lead to feelings of being under-appreciated, under-valued, and thus, result in low self-esteem. Of course, you wouldn’t want to feel any of these I’ve mentioned above, right?
This applies to a school setting or even your job setting, where you feel exhausted from work, but the next moment your boss gives you extra work or tells you to come on a Sunday to work.
That is not fair at all, right? Here’s where you put yourself first and say that you need to rest, so to take care of yourself, you take a leave or say no to your boss. So what if they are your boss? Your mental health matters first.
How To Put Yourself First?
Learn to value yourself: In a world where there’s constant pressure and competition, as well as comparison all the time, you have to first learn to value yourself before others value you.
You have to accept who you are and that you are equally important as others. If you don’t believe that you are important, then others will simply treat you as a doormat and walk all over you.
Learn to set boundaries: Secondly, it’s important to set boundaries, people can not treat you like trash. You have to place some boundaries for yourself, when interacting with people.
It’s okay to be friendly with everyone irrespective of age or gender, but if you think that someone is treating you like garbage behind your back, but being fake in front of you, you have to put an end to that. This is an example of a boundary you should keep.
Learn to celebrate your wins: Thirdly, it’s important to celebrate yourself when you achieve something in your life which can be small or big, and never to compare oneself with anyone else because when you do there would be no end to downgrading yourself and as a result, it’s you who are at a loss.
Learn to establish a routine: It’s also important to establish a healthy routine, whether it be sleeping well on time, eating enough food, engaging in activities you enjoy doing, etc. The moment you stop doing these things, you feel imbalanced and it shows you are not putting yourself first.
Lastly, it is truly important to prioritise yourself before anything else. It doesn’t mean you are selfish but just that you care about yourself. I found a heart-touching anonymous quote to sum it all up:
“Sometimes, you just gotta be your own hero and save your own little heart. Because sometimes, the people you can’t imagine living without can actually live without you.”
I hope you truly think of yourself first and then others!