I was lucky enough to be raised by parents who enjoyed discussing and breaking down its ingredients the way I did.
Often, my parents and I would play a game of guessing the singers, composers, and lyricists on a track without checking the credits. We’d miss a couple here and there.
But I remember us being able to pick KK out of tracks easily.
When I got confirmation of his death, the first people I told were my parents.
One of the first few cassettes I remember my parents collecting was Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam, and my dad’s favourite was always Tadap Tadap.
When you’re young, you don’t know why adults love sad songs. When you get your heart broken at 25 and lose your best friend of seven years, you find out why.
I’d sob myself to sleep listening to KK sing “Jism mujhe deke mitti ka, sheeshe sa dil kyun banaya”.
It was a no-brainer to pick up the Gangster CD for us to listen to in the car. My mom would always say ‘Tu Hi Meri Shab Hai’ was such a hard song to sing.
When I first shook my crush’s hand in 2006, I didn’t know what to do with that feeling. The songs I listened to slowed down in tempo suddenly. When I’d heard ‘Tu Hi Meri Shab Hai’ after transferring the songs from CD to computer to iPod, I kept thinking about how my mom was right. All I wanted to do was sing this song out loud to vent these strange feelings. And it was so difficult.
And what else is a crush if not the line: Tu waqt mere liye, main hoon tera lamha. (you are my time, i am your moment)
Two weeks ago, I was sleep-deprived and chasing deadlines I had definitely overcommitted on. I did what I do every time to focus. I listened to songs I grew up on. Later that evening, I made a long playlist of songs people may/may not have forgotten. KK was pretty prominent on it. I laughed to myself all day even though I barely slept. I’d listen to ‘Hum Dono Jaisa’ from Mere Yaar Ki Shaadi Hai and just shout to myself: “Yaarrrr KK and Sunidhi”.
Last night I scrolled through his filmography, and the 2000s never seemed to end. There were songs none of us have heard and some we heard too much. After 2013, the lists got shorter. That didn’t feel good.