Trigger warning: descriptions of porn
The clock strikes 1 a.m. A considerable part of the population switches off the lights and goes under their covers. Okay, here goes the script… A tall, muscular guy (his race will be mentioned in the title unless he is Caucasian) walks in like he rules the world. He confronts a girl and they kiss for like just 5 seconds, never caring to look each other in the eyes or caress each other’s hair.
They get this “smooth” part over with as soon as they can, and the girl bends down to take in his d**k, which looks as thick as the business end of some baseball bat. She begs him to put it in her mouth and he, with all his might, shoves it inside, into her throat. The scene shifts to where she is gagging and choking for breath.
The guy suddenly grabs her by her hair and turns her around as he takes hold of her butt. This part comes in various acrobatic positions and popular culture often tends to wring out the humour in this act of undeniable toxicity. Then, the guy musters up the energy for a second penetration… This time, into her vagina.
Now, the viewer is supposed to believe that both of them are having the perfect orgasm of all time, despite the guy being too aggressive to be enjoying the act and the girl looking like she is being choked to death.
Have You Heard Of ‘Boy Talk’?
“Sexually educated” is what one becomes by having watched their fair share of porn, or at least, that is how the sphere of pretension around this topic, has been used to misinterpret it.
Things do not end here. In all of those “boy talks” that one takes part in during their adolescence, that guy (the bald one holding the “baseball bat”) is of utmost reverence.
The whole class of students go, “Oh, no!”, when a fake rumour about the porn actor’s death floats around. This is one of the places where the assigned gender roles goes as far as to thrust it upon guys to worship rapists.
What follows is a porn-addict, who recovered from his state, explaining his dream sex scenario before he was introduced to the “ethereal” world of porn. He says:
“Two people, whether in love or not, are all alone in a room. They seemed to have had feelings for each other at some point. They look deep into each other’s eyes and one of them spits out some stupid comment out of nervousness and the other can’t help but break into a short laugh.”
How Porn Changes Guys’ Idea Of Sex
The story goes on as step-by-step, the couple, give and receive sexual arousal, between them, and get all fumed up to emotionally engage themselves in the beautiful art of having sex. But, the thing is, this doesn’t turn on anyone’s penis anymore.
Porn enables you to grow beyond this, which in turn, becomes the fuel in your stride towards achieving the epitome of masculinity. “The guy who bangs his c**k in real hard” is the end product of the elaborate process of gender-making, in which the pornography industry has had a major hand to play.
Moreover, this episode of the discussion won’t be enough to question the way this industry has misinterpreted the words like: daddy, bitch, slut, MILF, among others. Even the most commonly used curse words like “screw” and “fuck” must have its origin from this simple, fallacious idea that sex is a process where one harms the other.
The idea is not to hold anything against porn. But, to hurl everything at porn as we know it. Most people have never had a chance to confront what, in fact, is supposed to be pornography.
Feminist Porn And Male Gaze
We are exposed to these dehumanising videos where a “senseless beast” takes down a masochist of a woman. The fact that a full-fledged call for a major change in this industry hasn’t arrived yet, is depressing indeed. A feminist movement has been going on for long in this industry, but the increase in its viewership and the impact it has had remain intact.
It is, after all, a side effect of the multi-media industry being under the all-engulfing power of the “male gaze”. But, things are set to change for the good all around, except down this particular street where the sewer stink is worse than ever.
People abuse and bully the guy on television who was accused in a rape case, with all their might during the day, and later, in private, they masturbate watching the very same act of brutal, sexual harassment. Isn’t it almost impossible to un-see the irony in that sentence?
Yet, somehow, popular media has created a cloud thick enough to cover up this barbarity, to market its benefits underhand. Does the problem lie with the “penis” or the commodified portrayal of female sexuality, that has been etched into the core of manhood long ago?
The more one gives in to these, the fonder it gets, and gradually, that innate capacity to segregate rape from consensual, sexual interactions get erased. The challenge is: to admit that one’s penis is not the culprit, but one’s mentality is, which has been massively manipulated by the system… To discern that and to unlearn, is to make space for re-learning.
What are some harmful ideas about sex you thought were true because of porn?