Alka Gadgil, Maharashtra
Children’s relationships shape the way they see the world and affect all areas of their development. Through relationships with parents, other family members and carers, children learn about their world.
There’s an African proverb which says- “It takes a village to raise a child”. It means an entire community of people must interact with children because children need a safe and healthy environment for healthy growth.
Relationships let children express themselves – a cry, a laugh, a question – and get something back – a cuddle, a smile, an answer. What children ‘get back’ gives them very important information about what the world is like and how to act in the world – how to think, understand, communicate, behave, show emotions and develop social skills*.
8-year-old Manva Tawade is a living example of this ancient insight. Manva lives with her parents, younger brother and grandparents at Kankavali, district Sindhudurga, Maharashtra. Her extended family includes the neighbouring Mumbarkar family – Dr. Rajendra Mumbarkar, Arpita Mumbarkar and their two children. Rajenda Mumbarkar is a college teacher while his wife Arpita is an activist. They spend a lot of time with Manva. Two years ago, Manva’s family shifted base to Pune because her mother got transferred there. But during Corona she came back to live with her grandma.
Manva is very eager to tell her story- “I am in 2nd standard at Vistara High School, Hadapsar, Pune. When I was here with my grandma, I used to get up only at 8.30 because there was no school then. But since my school started on 6th June I had to return to Pune”.
She has to get up at 6.30; brush teeth and after bath she is ready to go to school.
“My mama gives me puzzles to solve. But Mama is unfair; she gives me difficult words”. Manva explains the nature of the game. “The letters are jumbled – hcoalte – for chocolate, rehndu – for hundred. But most of the times I am able to solve the puzzle”.
She has to recite multiplication tables from 2 to 20 every day; she also reads story book. “I like the story of red dog and cat…. The squirrel says I like to jump…the dog says I like to jump…the pig says l like to roll in mud…the hen says I like to pick sprouts. They fought but decided to let others be. Let’s not fight’- they said in one voice” shares Manva.
Manva has picked up languages- Marathi is her mother tongue. She picked Hindi from workers who come for repairs and maintenance and she has picked up fair amount of English in school. She’s also fluent in Malvani- the dialect of Sindhudurga District.
Manva participates in all the competitions and contests. In fancy dress competition organized by school she impersonated Madam Bhikaiji Rustom Cama who was a prominent figure in the Indian Independence Struggle. Madam Cama is famous for hoisting the precursor to the Indian National Flag on foreign soil. Manva delivered her speech on Madam Cama in three languages- Marathi Hindi and English.
“I have friends -their names are – Sharvi, Shrushti, Kruttika, Manasi and Mitali. We used to play a lot on terrace but they have stopped coming. Shrushti has joined a tuition class, Mitawa and others have stopped coming because they watch television serials”. On the whole kids have stopped playing. Studies on the topic show – today’s kids are not engaged in active free play nearly to the degree that their parents when they were children.
‘I have to sit at home as I don’t have any one to play with. I watch TV for some time and I also study. My Aaji (grandma) has taught me multiplication tables and Marathi poems, I recite them”.
Her school in Pune conducts many activities and Manva participates in them all with great passion. Manva’s Aaji syas- She wants to be like Arpita Mumbarkar who is an activist.
“I have to study a lot and I also want to participate in competitions. Our school had taken part in a programme conducted at local police station on Independence Day. We students created the word ‘Vende Matarm’ using lit candles.”
Manva read a small para from the Constitution during the porgramme. The school also organizes programmes on the topic of Parisar Abhyas-Local environment. Manva and their group conducted a small study in the neighbourhood on the topic of water wastage. “Normally we waste a lot of drinking water- we fill the glass fully but we drink little and then we throw that water”
Manva is also very sensible and reasonable. When she asks for something from her parents and when she doesn’t get it in spite of reminders, she will look for alternatives.
Since she is the eldest, she feels she is not getting enough attention from her parents and grandparents. “I also pamper my younger brother but even then, he gets into fighting. He hits me; then I also hit him. But we end the fight soon”.
She doesn’t like it when someone disturbs her while she is studying and she likes girly gadgets like hair band, clips and earrings.
“Only a month has passed since the school started. But Shahista madam is not there- she has left the school. She used to make it easy for us -she used to make us understand. I felt bad that she’s not there”.
Manva is the monitor of the class. “When the teacher is away, I discipline my class mates”.
“Once my father slapped me when I broke a glass. I hit back- it was wrong – it was a mistake. But now I am not too young. My home work is best among the class. Therefore, I am the class monitor”.
She likes to discuss with Professor Rajenra Mumbarkar about her books and her friends. During Corona Dr. Mumbarkar who is a college teacher used to conduct on line class. During his lecture Manva would be by his side. She got interested in the topic he taught- political science and she used to chit chat with him after the lecture.
The idea of ‘First Thousand Days’ tells us that ‘eat, play and love’ will go a long way in brain development of children. Healthy and loving environment of family will also provide emotional security to the child. Manava is a living example of that philosophy.
The writer is a development worker from Maharashtra. Share your feedback on connect@charkha.org
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