Before I start, I want to clarify that it’s not my story. As I mentioned in one of the blogs, after getting married, a lot of people started questioning my writing, so I thought, why not give a prior notification? I really love this new generation. Honestly, they are fearless and straightforward. Yes, I am talking about my cousin; readers who regularly read my blogs will know her for sure by now, as every time I talk to her, she says something that gives me goosebumps.
She is an independent, career-oriented girl, and she is the kind of girl who needs space in a relationship too. The last time we met, she mentioned her individuality in her relationship. I am not blaming or characterizing anyone here. Still, we all can agree to the fact that many times in a relationship, we lose our individuality while giving comfort to the other person. She mentioned how at a certain point in a relationship, everything revolved around him, and she was nowhere.
Recently I watched a movie called “Marriage story” on Netflix, which talked about the same. I will not go into much detail about it, though I will have to give a small summary to explain my point. The wife is an actress by profession, whereas the husband is the director. Here, the husband always talks about his ideas and never gives importance to hers. Since I had a similar conversation with my cousin the day before, I could understand it more.
My cousin had been in relationships, and she did mention that there have been times she prioritized him more than herself. His taste, his desires, his choices; she stated that the worst part was that she didn’t even realize that she had lost her individuality until they broke up. Caring about your partner is not bad, but only caring about your partner is wrong.
During these three decades, the most important lesson I have learnt is to value yourself and love yourself. It’s your sole responsibility to protect your individuality. As rightly said by Claude McKay, “If a man is not faithful to his individuality, he cannot be loyal to anything.” (It applies to women too).