When we experience breakups or heartbreak, friendship, love, and relationships are perceived as not being as significant in our lives. The love stories of Radha-Krishna, Laila-Majnu, Heer-Ranjha, Romeo-Juliet, and countless more have been told to us since we were young. Perhaps this is why we have so many fantasies about unadulterated love and yearn to experience it firsthand.
Do you, however, believe that such a love exists?
We begin to believe that love is similar to how it is portrayed in these romantic love songs, novels, and movies when we watch, read, and listen to them. And when things turn out to be wrong and contrary, we become wounded. This hurt is not caused by losing that person, but rather by the fact that all of our fantasies about the future we wanted to live and fulfill with our love have come to an end.
When I was younger, I used to think about love and how it makes everything seem so precious and exciting, even the seemingly insignificant things. Sure, this also occurs. Everything seems so nice and thrilling when we eventually meet this kind of person, begin chatting with them, and spend time with them.
Unfortunately, this cannot go on forever the way we would like it to. Just as grief never lasts forever, happiness also has its expiration date. Fights start now, and one or both parties are irritated with one another. First, the traits that initially drew them to one another start to fade, and they begin to notice the qualities that they dislike. Relationships begin to deteriorate when dislikes predominate over likes.
Even if one person genuinely wants to be in a relationship and go on with love while ignoring every disrespectful phrase, and angry act, and persistently ignoring behavior on the part of the other person, it is impossible. Because affection and one-sided efforts have outlived their usefulness. But in this case, the consequences are that the person who was in love and wanted to keep the relationship going lost his or her self-confidence, self-esteem, and self-respect after the breakup, which led to the emergence of several issues in their personal life.
So what exactly is love? Is the other party being begged to continue the relationship? Are they being reminded of our past interactions with each other? Is there something we need to prove to them before they can love us back? Is it our fault that we believed it to be love? Is our ongoing sense of insecurity a result of the power we’ve given others to disregard us?
True love, so we’ve been told, is freedom. Allow the other individual to go free. Let them carry out their wishes. They will come if they love you. But don’t you believe that granting them freedom also gives them the authority to hurt you? They are free to ignore you whenever they like, visit you whenever they want, and go from you whenever they wish. So what is the point of having such intense love? The other person needed to be free from you since they have never wanted to love you the same way from the beginning.
I still have no idea what love is. But I want to experience it. When we care for someone, we want to spend every moment with them and do everything with them. How it is possible to say that we shouldn’t have any expectations of the people we love? In reality, expectations begin automatically, and even if they aren’t met and you encounter persistent disrespect, is that love?
People today don’t want to fall in love. They enjoy how people treat or love them. They do not love the individual. And when the individual stops trying and making effort, they begin to distance themselves from them and grow unpleasant towards them. But they are unwilling to make a similar effort. Why?
If you truly love someone, then both persons should make an effort. This includes showing respect, caring for them, and being flexible. Nonetheless, people tend to focus on errors rather than effort. They decide to ignore the person rather than communicate with them and work out their differences. They directly reject their viewpoint instead of understanding it. I’m still hopeful for love.
I want that everyone would find true love. Share the love and have the courage to love because while it’s simple to enter and leave, maintaining consistency is more challenging. Every facet of life, including relationships, requires consistency.