Dowry is a lifelong continuous process not a one time gifting event.
Dowry starts when two family agrees for the wedding. On this approval of wedding from both sides between two families, bride family gives some money to groom family.
I am calling it dowry because there is no proper description given for these, those rituals just shows you system of patriarchy that runs in society, there is no proper address of such issues in the society.
Lagan
Then on two days before wedding, bride family gives groom family a huge amount of money, jewellery, furniture, appliances, clothes etc.
Transportation of stuff also manages by girl’s family.
This is considered as real dowry in our society.
Because highest amount of money and stuff exchange happens on this day. Also this is very visible kind of exchange.
Also called as lagan in Haryana (India).
Len-Den (Take-Give).
Then on the wedding day, girl’s family gives clothes with money to most of the relatives of boy’s family.
This ritual is called Len-Den in the society. But I feel this is only Den(Give) not Len(take).
Wedding day
Brides family arranges feast party for every relatives with priority given to groom family and relatives.
Lots of money being spent on food, tent, decoration, lights, Len-den(Take-Give), ritual, DJ, drones, flowers etc. Weddings these days becoming more and more big and fatty, called Big fat wedding due to societal norms and show off.
All these leads to extreme pressure on mainly father and brother of bride, mostly they sell their properties and takes loans for such wedding.
Sometimes ends up in suicide due to debts.
All these drama in a wedding doesn’t give any surity that this marriage relationship will go perfectly. Sometimes divorce happens very soon even if the divorce not happens, this is waste of money and resources.
Then next day of wedding, male only relatives of boy comes to girl’s home and enjoy a heavy expensive feast and formal hospitality.
Also recieves money.
God bharayi
This is ritual where girls when become pregnant, they are given blessings, but these blessings are in form of money and stuff. Girl’s parents gives money with clothes to girl’s relatives because they meet during this ritual, and as I told you earlier, every time the girl’s family member meet with boy’s family member, girl’s family member always gives some money and/or clothes to boy’s family member.
Pregnancy in mayka
During the pregnancy, girls will be sent to parents house, so that girl’s parents will take care of her pregnancy and all expenditure on it.
Girls are being send to parents house because during pregnancy, they are not capable of working, and need extra care, and when girls (Bahu) is not working, they are useless burden on in-laws family. Who will care? In-laws!
Child Delivery by girl’s parents
Mostly delivery of child is supported by girl’s parents. They are expected to pay hospital bills, transportation etc.
Kua poojan
In haryana, this is a ceremony of celebrating the birth of child. Mostly it’s done for boy baby born, but these days girl baby kua poojan is also seen.
The reason behind this was money given by government to support girls, reduce female foeticide, and improving sex ratio.
Due to these continuous support, some parents started celebrating girl’s kua poojan on their own wish, which is a good sign.
Sometimes coins or eatable given equal to the weight of child.
Bhat
In this ritual , when girl’s children getting married, girl’s parents side people including parents brother or any relative, they give a gift to girl’s child in their wedding, this gift contains cash, jewelry etc. Same as dowry.
Death
At the time of death of girl, girl’s side people goes to girl’s in-laws home and do some ritual and give some clothes and money to girls’ in-laws.
Teej
This is a festival in India, comes on 3rd day of starting day of Shrawan(rainy) season.
In this festival, people from girl’s family side most probably brother or father, they give some sweets, eatable to girl’s in-laws family, that can be readymade or home made or mixed.
Also they gives fruits, and cash to girl’s in-laws.
Makar Sakranti
This Ritual is same as Teej but only difference is, it’s celebrated on 14 January.
These rituals are definite, but there are uncertain rituals like birthday celebration of any family members in girl’s in-laws, then girl’s parents gives money, any function in girl’s in laws house. Girls parents goes and give money.
In simple words
Once a knot tied, girl’s family becomes giver and boy’s family becomes taker, even the generation passed away, but rituals goes on till eternity.