For years, we have been ignoring a major chunk of society as they have been kept away from our so-called “normal” or “mainstream” life. When one of my close friends wanted to work on the topic of disability for her research, I was confused on what it would even entail.
But when we dug deeper into the subject and discussed the topic, we realised that the problems of disabled people are larger than merely discrimination. Moreover, the social conditioning of creating a marginalised community in a society became clearer as we dug deeper into the history and sacred texts of Indian society.
The Roots of Discrimination
We never wonder on the most basic thing that disability represents in our society and that is – punishment – as we have been conditioned to accept it as normal. And we always see disability as a result of some past life sin committed by either the person or their parents. There are ample examples in our mythology that would prove the same.
And this in turn results into creating a fear about disability. As it is said – People fear disability more than they fear death. And this is a very frighteningly true statement. The stereotyping of disability and disabled people starts from this fear.
Have we ever wondered that how would a person feel hearing such things said about them? How difficult it would be to live in a society that does not even create a safe environment and infrastructure for disabled people? We have always heard of inspiring stories on how they battle this treatment by society and emerge successful. But is that what their lives are meant to be – A motivational story for others? Can we not, for a moment, consider that they also have their own opinions, thoughts, emotions and life?
Narrative of Empowerment
“The Grammar of My Body” by Abhishek Anicca answers all these questions. It is a memoir written in the most humanised and truthful way, with a stream of consciousness styled language, which would really make you self-reflect on our casual attitude towards marginalised people.
And yes, even though it is a narrative about the body, emotions and life of a disabled man born with a congenital condition, but it is written in such a way that every marginalised person would be able to relate to it. Each chapter feels like a separate blog on a new theme and experience of the writer and they all connect together to form a story embedded sometimes with misery and sometimes with hope.
Abhishek Anicca has a writing style similar to the ones used by Arundhati Roy in her Booker Man Award winning title – The God of Small Things. (Which also happens to be my favorite book.)The use of small broken sentences to signify the movement of thought and changing emotions of people is brilliantly handled in the book.
Written in a very lucid and vivid manner, the readers are able to paint a picture of every moment of the author’s life. The pace of the writing also changes with the moods of the situation and the readers immerse into the world of the author and his emotions.
One very important aspect of his writing, I found is the mentions of other marginalised sections of the society while talking about his own problems and how the other factions of society have it as tough as himself. For instance, as a student of women’s studies, he brings up the issues of sexism, misogyny and harassment faced by women through the examples of his mother, friends and girlfriends. He even brings up the queerness of disability and his experiences and opinions about the homophobia in the society.
Another attraction to his writing style is the use of sarcasm and dark humour about his own life and problems, which is a relatable trope for today’s youth. He discusses the problems faced by today’s youth through his experiences of dating, jobs, family and connection with friends. Because of his condition, he sometimes has to depend on others for help, which he, at times, finds really difficult as the youth today are used to being hyper-independent.
Platonic Approach to Relationships
Abhishek has a very platonic approach towards love and relationship and he is appreciative towards the people close to him, be it his friends or even his house-help. He freely discusses the issues of body image, difficulty in finding love and struggling with mental health through his experiences in life. He has a lot of poetry scattered throughout the book, mostly in the beginning of the chapters to set a tone for the themes discussed. And I absolutely love his poetry as they bring out the essence of the life of today’s youngsters.
Along with these aspects of his writings, the readers get to understand the treatment disabled people receive in the society. The most disturbing elements among the understanding of disabled body by the abled ones is the perception of it being incapable and undeserving of regular life, love and sex. The questions and comments of abled people received by the narrator are disturbing and made me question the thought process inculcated among us about the disabled people and disability in general.
This also leads to the unthoughtful approach towards accessibility of facilities for disabled people in the society. For instance, the recent case of the disabled girl being carried to the office of the marriage registrar in Maharashtra. Though the registrar got suspended, but the main problem is not the stubbornness of the government officer, but the government office premises, where there is no facility for disabled person to reach the floor above to get their work done.
Perception and Accessibility
One of my friends, who is blind, has to call all her friends to check if anyone of us would be free to take her to the government offices to get her work done. Because the infrastructure has been developed to cater to the needs of the able-bodied people exclusively. Abhishek also talks about incidences where he had to refuse going to the movies or cancel other plans with his friends as he couldn’t access the places due to his disability.
One of his struggles discussed in the book is also about the way he looked at himself during the initial years of his life. His family had not made him aware about his health conditions till adulthood and thus his body image of himself was based on the societal norms, which made it difficult for him to accept his body as a different one.
This resulted into low self-esteem and facing a hard time accepting his disability. I have seen this happen to a lot of disabled people, where they are not informed about their disability and thus face a hard time competing with able-bodied people in their lives. It results into low confidence and constant feeling of failure to fit into the society.
All of these issues are the result of the little or no awareness about disability in the society. A lot of people sympathise with the disabled people and try to help them out materialistically. But people fail to empathise and accept their disability as a natural condition and exclude them from the society.
The Grammar of My Body is an important book in understanding this gap between what is considered normal and what is not. Through his experiences, we understand that every human body has the basic need of love, understanding and companionship and that doesn’t change with your disability or gender or sexuality.
Featured image credit: Abhishek Anicca’s Twitter Profile