‘Your PhD Isn’t Running Anywhere, Have A Child First’

June 08, 2022

Sheetal* had three conditions before marrying; she wouldn't be forced to change her name, she wouldn't be asked to quit work, she could study whenever and wherever she wanted. However, 1.5 years of marriage showed a different reality.


You should leave your study and return back to Jabalpur, have kids and fulfil the needs of your husband like a dutiful wife.

It was a love marriage. Sheetal had no support of her parents. She went for her M.Sc. which meant staying away from her husband for 1.5 years. Soon they started having communication problems.


Marriage Ideals

He thought marriage equaled ownership, though marriage ia about accomodation, respect and understanding. Her husband’s entitlement and outright dismissal of her consent were appalling to her.

His family members and her friends started pressuring her to make peace. "It’s better you return and live like your mother-in-law who maintains the household so well."



Sheetal wanted to kill herself because of the pressure. She went through intimate partner abuse where her husband threatened to release her nudes.

She believes we need to discuss SRHR at a deeper level. She believes by sharing her story, more women can be made aware of abuse within marriages and take a stand against them.