I have been thinking a lot about how a guy becomes disrespectful towards women or think that they are lesser or they are mend to do a specific kind of work. I have been discussing this with a lot of people and now I guess I have reached to a conclusion where I can say It depends a lot on how you have grown up in your family or among what kind of people you have spent your whole childhood, because our basic mindset develops when we are kids and it stays with us for the whole life. There is no doubt that people grow as they get exposure but it matters a lot that how your family treats women and men.
Our Home and our family are the biggest and most precious part of our lives and this is where the foundation of our character, ideologies and beliefs are made. Home is where we understand the meaning of our traditions, rituals and value of relationships. We see our parents and grandparents and that’s what makes the definition of a relationship (In which two people decide to stay together for their whole life) .The way our fathers/Grandfathers/Uncles/Elder brother treats the women in the family & outside, defines the meaning of how we treat the other gender. Also how the women in family treats themselves tells a lot to the kids about the gender roles. That is what decides how your kid is going to treat people in his/her life.
That’s why I chose the title “Feminism Starts at home” and nowhere else. If we keep talking about it and we are not teaching and implementing it at home then I guess it doesn’t make sense.
It is important to make your daughter believe in equality and it is rather more important to teach your sons how to respect the equality and believe in it.
It’s time to stop the stereotypes:
- The way we share the responsibilities in family, does matter. If women are restricted to the household things only and if the decision making is done by only men. Your son/daughter who is observing all this, how do you think will behave when he/she goes out?
- Don’t only ask your daughter to come back home early but teach her how to protect herself and also tell your son that protect a girl when he sees somebody misbehaving with her.
- Don’t tell your daughter that she should know how to cook otherwise what she will do when she’ll be married. Tell your daughter and son both to learn cooking because it is good to cook for yourself and tell them to respect the person who is cooking for them as Food is a blessing.
- The kind of clothes a girl or a guy should wear?? It should be their own choice!
- If you are having dinner after your husband (Happens a lot in India) then what do you think your son will not think that it is his sole right to be the first?
- Stop saying to your girl that don’t play so much or don’t get tanned otherwise who will marry her!! Teach your girl and boy both that it is important to take care of their body & skin, encourage both of them to do whatever they feel happy to do.
- Tell them marriage does not depends on the things like whether you know how to cook or how to stitch or anything else, Tell them it depends upon what kind of person you are, it depends upon sharing the love & compassion and most importantly it depends upon how you stay together through happiness and struggles.
- When while watching a tv show you call a girl hoe and criticize her for the way she has dressed up Or you see a guy and call him gay because he is wearing a pink shirt, Be sure that your son/daughter are going to do the same thing when they go out. You are no way making them a better person.
Expressing emotions is important : Do not tell your son that “don’t cry, it’s a girl thing” Or tell your daughter “Don’t get angry like your father ” but teach them that expressing themselves is very important thing in life.
The meaning of consent: Teach your kids that No mean No and Only Yes means Yes. No other thing.
Teach Respect & Dignity: Teach your kids to treat people as human beings, tell them not to stereotype things .Teach them to respect everybody’s point of views and perspectives.
Tell them that both the genders are equal but incomplete without each other. Tell them we are a team.