I have always been very conscious near men. Before you judge me, hear me out.
- I was told from my childhood that I needed to be careful near men.
- As I grew up I saw for myself what that meant.
- The ‘innocent’ touches in bus or the nudges near my breast in auto never went unnoticed.
- But, I couldn’t do anything about it.
- Not because I didn’t want to. But because I was told that otherwise ‘they’ would do something.
- I never understood who these ‘they’ were. I still don’t.
- I was said to wear ‘decent’ clothes.
- If I opened my hair, leave men even other girls would give me my character certificate.
- So, to sum it up, I have had almost zero male interaction, not because I didn’t want to but because the society taught me that men were beasts.
- Now , I am afraid. Really afraid , because I see men who don’t seem to be beasts.
- They are progressive. They talk about periods and the pain and don’t shy away from “taboos”.
- They are human and normal and good.
- But are all of them like that?
- I can’t even judge. Because I don’t know the difference between a good guy and a bad one. Because the world told me not to interact.
- But isn’t it funny. Now the world wants me to marry one of them. And sleep with him on the first night itself.
- I am only human. Excuse my laziness, if that is what you want to call it, but I need time. More time.
- I find it funny, that I am told to enjoy all liberty only after marriage and after marriage my liberty is flung out of the window.
- I had a life, I thought. But when was it mine?
- When was I at freedom to take my own decisions?
- I wonder and wonder.
- While someone else takes the decisions for me.
- They say I am a good wife.
- But I don’t want to be.
- I am forced to be a mother.
- I don’t want to be.
- I am expected to be happy.
- I am not.
- I want a life.
- Oh! I am not allowed to have one.
- Now, they call me a man hater.
- But, I was not taught how to love them.
This is my side of the story.I am not a man hater.