I am 18 years old and I didn’t know about my own sexuality till I was 17.
In my first year of college, I saw a girl. She was my first crush. You know that cute, lovely feeling? I felt that. However, I was annoyed by my own feelings because it seemed abnormal. Actually, that was what I was taught. So, I thought ignoring my feelings was a better choice than realising what it was.
Before this, I never had a crush on anyone. So it was the first time I realised what attraction and love felt like. Ahh! That stage of confusion, frustration, depression, fear and all the horrible feelings I could have. It was the worst.
I spent an entire month searching and reading about sexual orientation, online. And I got to know quite a lot about it. I even talked to a counselor, who thought that it may just be an attraction and nothing else since I study in an all girls college.
There was more confusion. I decided to figure it all our myself and slowly accept myself. I spoke to the girl and told her everything. She didn’t say ‘yes’ to me, but at least I felt better. Soon, I came out to all my friends and thankfully, their reaction was good.
Now, I have a girlfriend and I’m not ashamed or uncomfortable with myself anymore. Thanks to her, I know about all the hardships we will have to face, but I can’t change who I am. I realised that it’s better to not be fake because acceptance from your own heart and mind is the most important.