Dear ‘Superior Being’
You are the self-appointed superior gender sitting on the top bench of the hierarchy in society. No, I don’t hate you. I have just a few questions, and a few things to tell you.
How does it feel to walk in the dark with no worries if the street light is out, and you get to see fireflies and the waning moon playing hide and seek in the clouds?
How does it feel to breathe freedom without the fear of someone coming and touching you without your consent, as if your body belongs to them?
How does it feel to ride bare-chested and feel the breeze against your body in a cool windy night?
How does it feel to sleep in your underwear when there is no power supply?
How does it feel to go about anywhere at any time of the day as and when you wish?
How does it feel not to understand what “shady” and “sly” mean to us?
How does it feel to chant God’s name on the pedestal meant exclusively for your gender?
How does it feel not to have a curfew, or if you do have one, not give a damn about it?
How does the world feel from your vantage point?
Please reflect when you say “I believe in equal rights for all women,” and at the same time believe that it is necessary to have a man’s presence in the household, or the world will fall apart in your absence!
And who are you with your protectionist badge, again? You certainly don’t believe in your clan, do you? And still, you blow up your chest and feel content about the hard shield you press us against. Most of those protectionist jobs are taken by you, all sorts of security forces to protect us from your own selves, ironic, isn’t it?
Could you take responsibility for putting on a condom when you have your pleasureful moment and hit the climax inside of her and later just be “Oops” about it? Prevention is better than cure, you must know, also if you really don’t care about “extra dotted”, please please think about the multiple sexually transmitted diseases and Health complications you are risking for each other.
You “beast” up yourself in parties, at the gym, at work, and have no qualms over the language you use to define yourself as someone who demands to thumb on the “authority” template.
But you also you take vigil in a candlelight march when there is a sexual harassment case in your city, state, university, or school your fist up in the air. Oh Goody Good Guy! Who would take responsibility for your actions, like when you brush against someone’s body without their consent, taking it as a vessel of measurement to know whether the other person is interested? When you can’t look up into her eyes during a conversation? Because your life must revolve around the career you wish to have, or the so-called suitable caste or class you marry into, all the while assuming that a woman must wag her tail and tag along wherever you go. So, you will oscillate between whether to stick around or let go and come back.
Why is that you have the power to “declare” and “affirm” your relationship with a person, but your partner is pressured to answer people’s speculations? And how could she reject you? You are the hunk, you never get rejected. “It’s usually me, getting out of a relationship most of the time!” You say. In that case, dear sir, the wand of decision-making is presumably in your hands. So please unpin the Feminism brooch you have been sticking around on your chest pocket, flagging your flaky stand.
Last but not the least, understand that “the fair sex” (women) and “the third gender” (trans people) have agency, and a right to decision-making. So how about you do not weigh yourself down with society’s made up concept of “chivalry”. Sit back and relax and recognise that people can make decisions for themselves.
A plea: Don’t call yourself a feminist just because you read a lot when you don’t remember the multiple times you mansplain, and barge into a conversation, uninvited, believing you have all the knowledge to supersede anyone. You have been ignorant about the world surrounding you. You may have been gaslighting people around you on the pretext of showing off the knowledge you have!
Oh, Dear Superior Being, I don’t hate you. I just wish you understood your privileges. I wish you understood all genders deserve respect. If any of this comes across as highly offensive to you, maybe it’s because you don’t understand. Yes, I do believe in shared responsibilities, what irks me is the denial to hold up your end of the bargain.
Sincerely,
The Ordinary Woman.