What is cognitive dissonance? It is when you hold one belief/value/perception but people surrounding you hold different belief/value/perception than yours which leads to psychological stress namely; cognitive dissonance. For both the parties involved.
This causes you to reduce this stress by one of the following 3 ways: for example; you want to drink alcohol but you know it’s bad for your health.
- Changing the cognition or behavior- not drinking
- Explaining the cognition supported by your behavior- drinking occasionally is alright
- Ignoring the contradictory circumstances altogether- Nothing happens if you drink, it’s all a hoax
In different circumstances we choose different coping mechanisms from above the three. However if you are continually disturbed and don’t hold your beliefs to be true, you’re going to remain in dissonance. This will lead to lack of clarity and mental block. It will stop you from growing in your life. It is a matter of choice now which strategy you want to apply when.
Now in the above example, if you prioritize pleasure you’d ignore health, if you prioritize health, you’d change your behavior, if you prioritize both equally, you’d justify your action.
It is mostly about prioritization.
If you know what matters to you the most and take a call accordingly, you’d not have to be stressed. Like if you can’t put up with certain people or situations and what you tried did not work, shift to a different mechanism of the three. If you tried changing your behavior but still you’re not at peace and you tried explaining yourself that it’s only temporary but you’re unsettled then it’s time to ignore and move on.
Remember the right solution will be the toughest to take. But that is the only thing that will lead you to victory.