Aamir Khan And Kiran Rao’s Divorce: How Much Longer Before We Normalise Divorce?

A famous superstar and his wife decided to file for a divorce together. They revealed this news on the morning of July 3 via a joint statement and a video message on social media. The youths, oh sorry, not only youths, but many people of different generations made this news a big viral.

Obviously, this celebrity couple is known to each household of the country. So, the news that they were separated from each other was bound to get viral. People criticised them by saying: “What kind of an example do they leave for all?,” “One of them must be having an extra marital affair,” “See how shamelessly they are confessing it.”

As against these reactions, many criticised these critics and praised them for such imperturbable action. This group of people thinks that the two are liberal, loving and kind enough to take this mutual decision and still decide to stay as family.

There is another group of people that argues that it is easy for them as they are celebrities, but hard for the rest of us. Our analysis is related to this part of the whole discussion, though it has an obvious connection with the above two parts.

Divorce.

Still a big word for a typical Indian. Though our society has come a long way in social reformation, there is still a long way to go when it come to letting divorcees, particularly women, live peacefully. Our law and order has provided this option of separation or divorce to married couples when it becomes completely impossible or intolerable to stay in a relationship. Many studies have shown that it is quite unhealthy, both physically and mentally, to stay in a abusive and toxic relationship.

That being the reason, there are different laws for different religions as per their beliefs when it comes to getting separated — there is the Hindu Marriage Act, 1955, for Hindu, Buddhist and Jain marriages, Dissolution of Muslim Marriage Act, 1939, for Muslim marriages, the Indian Divorce Act, 1869, for Christian marriages, and for all inter-community marriages, there is the Special Marriage Act, 1956.

But the primary concern is that in spite of these legal remedies against abusive and toxic marital relationships, many people suffer their whole life from these very relationships because of a number of reasons — including lack of knowledge about such laws, lengthy and somewhat complex procedures of courts, and most importantly, due to the fear of losing social prestige as divorce is still considered an unfortunate event in anyone’s life in our Indian society.

Taking all these above matters into concern, it is easy to predict or understand how awful it is for women in our patriarchal society to choose this path, even if this path is legally approved and defined. We all have certainly listened to or keenly experienced or seen our mothers, sisters, aunts and other women who, throughout their life, have experienced nothing but physical, mental or emotional abuse by representatives of patriarchy. But we rarely see any of them choosing the path of separation to make themselves free from all these. Why?

Do they enjoy serving everyone with that pale smile hiding all their pain inside? Have they never thought of separating from all these pressures and restarting a journey of their own choice?

Yes, they must have thought about it. Several times. I have seen and experienced from up close that at a certain point in life, marriages only become miserable for women. Deep in their conscience, they wish to get rid of it. It remains nothing but a responsibility for them. But they cannot even think of separation from this orthodox lifestyle that once forced itself on them and said, “After marriage, only the wife’s ashes can return from her husband’s home.”  Such stereotypes and beliefs of our society are so strong that women cannot even dream of being separated.

Even if a woman takes this brave step , the society keeps talking about it around her, leaving no chance to make her life miserable. The most powerful weapon they apply is attacking the character of the woman who sought divorce from her abusive marriage. And ironically, they are women themselves who make the living of their own daughters or sisters miserable as a result of utter jealousy, rage or insecurities.

Secondly, women waver from stepping forward for their happiness by eliminating the dark part of her life because of the lack of financial independence. Most women are financial dependent on their husband or family.

This being the supreme reason, it has become even more important to educate women and provide them with adequate employment opportunities, not because they should be inspired to seek divorce, but because they don’t deserve to die tolerating the sheer toxicity of a rotten relationship. And so, they must have the option to make a move for their own happiness, if required.

Divorce is not a crime, and staying connected when the broken pieces inside hurt so much is not justifiable either. Those who have broken marriages are as beautiful as those who are long-term marriages.