By Divya Gupta:
“Being abused in this manner is like being kidnapped and tortured for ransom but you will never have enough to pay off the kidnapper.”
By Rebecca J. Burns …The Last Straw
This quote written on long term domestic violence shows the gravity of the situation- The helplessness, the trauma, and the torture.
Domestic abuse, also known as spousal abuse, occurs when one person in an intimate relationship or marriage tries to dominate and control the other person. Domestic abuse that includes physical violence is called domestic violence.
Domestic violence and abuse can happen to anyone, yet the problem is often overlooked, excused, or denied. This is especially true when the abuse is psychological, rather than physical. Emotional abuse is often minimized, yet it can leave deep and lasting scars.
The perpetrator’s abusive behavior can cause an array of health problems and physical injuries. Victims may require medical attention for immediate injuries, hospitalization for severe assaults, or chronic care for debilitating health problems resulting from the perpetrator’s physical attacks. The direct physical effects of domestic violence can range from minor scratches or bruises to fractured bones or sexually transmitted diseases resulting from forced sexual activity and other practices. The indirect physical effects of domestic violence can range from recurring headaches or stomachaches to severe health problems due to withheld medical attention or medications.
Domestic violence may start when one partner feels the need to control and dominate the other. Abusers may feel this need to control their partner because of low self-esteem, extreme jealousy, difficulties in regulating anger and other strong emotions, or when they feel inferior to their partner in education and socioeconomic background. Some men with very traditional beliefs may think they have the right to control women, and that women aren’t equal to men.
This domination then takes the form of emotional, physical or sexual abuse. Studies suggest that violent behavior often is caused by an interaction of situational and individual factors. That means that abusers learn violent behavior from their family, people in their community and other cultural influences as they grow up. They may have seen violence often or they may have been victims themselves.
Examples of emotional and behavioral effects of domestic violence include many common coping responses to trauma, such as:
- Emotional withdrawal
- Denial or minimization of the abuse
- Impulsiveness or aggressiveness
- Apprehension or fear
- Helplessness
- Anger
- Anxiety or hyper vigilance
- Disturbance of eating or sleeping patterns
- Substance abuse
- Depression
- Suicide
- Post-traumatic stress disorder.
Noticing and acknowledging the warning signs and symptoms of domestic violence and abuse is the first step to ending it. No one should live in fear of the person they love. If you recognize yourself or someone you know in the aforementioned warning signs and descriptions of abuse, don’t hesitate to reach out. There is help available.
As a result of determined campaigning and lobbying by women’s organizations, significant amendments were made to the Indian Penal Code, the Indian Evidence Act and the Dowry Prohibition Act, with the intention of protecting wives from marital violence, abuse and extortionist dowry demands.
However, the actual implementation of these laws has left a bitter trail of disappointment, anger and resentment in its wake, among the affected families.
Domestic violence should not happen to anybody. Ever. Period. But it does – and when it does, there is help. Maybe you have lived with abuse, maybe it happened just once; maybe you work or live next to someone who is being abused right now. I hope that this may inspire our day or make you think; abuse is never your fault and should not be tolerated by anyone.
We invite our readers, if you may have personal knowledge of any such cases as well as those who are handling cases of matrimonial disputes through women’s organizations, to send us their feedback on how the laws are being put to use in their respective areas, so that we can initiate the youth to assess the situation and work out timely corrective measures.
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